Showing posts with label Kellie Henegar Love Valentines Day Tommy Henegar. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Kellie Henegar Love Valentines Day Tommy Henegar. Show all posts

Monday, March 14, 2011

Why so much talk about Lent? Isn’t that just for the Catholics?

In showing my age, I can recall when I was in college before the internet, realizing I sound really old; the popular thing was “cliff note.” Cliff Notes were small yellow books that could be purchased that would summarize a classic piece of literature in about a hundred pages or so. In one night, a student, like me could read a classic, get the synopsis of the book, the main plot, brief character details, and the conclusion of the story. This was very convenient for the student. The night before read the cliff notes, take the test, and pass it. Now the cliff notes did not give all the information, which usually resulted in a low B or high C on the test, but for an unmotivated student with so many college social events and responsibilities, it worked out well. Cliff Notes were not necessarily cheating. It was just a short cut, which resulted in an average grade. I even shameless took a classic American literature class in which I received an A and did not read one of the books assigned; only the Cliff Notes. While I confess my sins now, it seemed to help me at the time.


Years later in my life, out of guilt, maturity, or curiosity, I went back and began to read the exact readings that were assigned in that class. I was amazed at what I missed. Rereading Adventures of Tom Sawyer, I missed Tom Sawyer is a saucy boy, a natural show-off, who likes to show his authority over the other boys. I missed the complexity of the relationships of his best friends include Joe Harper and Huckleberry Finn. I was robbed the connection of my boyhood and his with Tom's infatuation with classmate Rebecca "Becky" Thatcher is apparent. As I reread it opened up the door for the Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, where Tom is only a minor character, and is used as a foil for Huck, particularly in the later chapters of the novel after Huck makes his way to the Phelps plantation. Tom's immaturity, imagination, and obsession with stories put Huck's planned rescue of the runaway slave Jim in great jeopardy - and ultimately make it totally unnecessary, since he knows that Jim's owner has died and freed him in her will. Throughout that novel, Huck's intellectual and emotional development is a central theme, and by re-introducing a character from the beginning (Tom Sawyer), Twain is able to highlight this evolution in Huck's character. My life and soul was touched by Mark Twain words as I too grew up on the banks of the Mississippi River; no adventures, just concerts, walks, and hundreds of sunsets down on the bluff. All this was NOT reflected in the Cliff Notes.

The season of Lent can be like that for us too. Because of time, schedules, routine, commitments, and experiences we experience the Cliff Notes of lent. We know Christ’s passion story. The ashes of Ash Wednesday Service have along been washed off. We await the children walking down the isle with waving branches on Palm Sunday, regroup for Maundy Thursday service, then hope the church is full of Easter Sunday, and then off, hunt some eggs with the little ones, and finish it off with the family ham and potato salad. We’ve done this before, remember the Cliff Notes.

When we do the Cliff Notes of Lent, we miss more than we gain. Yet there is something significant missing if we only concentrate on celebration for these two Sundays. It is too easy and promotes much too cheap a grace to focus only on the high points of Palm Sunday and Easter without walking with Jesus through the gathering shadows of Maundy Thursday and the darkness of Good Friday. Lent is a way to recall a larger story than just celebration. It is a way to face the reality of the consequences of sin and the terrible toll it takes on the world. Lent calls us to examine our own lives with the prayer. The journey through Lent is a way to places ourselves before God humbled, bringing in our hands no price whereby we can ourselves purchase our salvation. It is a way to confess our total inadequacy before God, to strip ourselves bare of all pretenses to righteousness, to come before God in dust and ashes. It is a way to empty ourselves of our false pride, of our rationalizations that prevent us from seeing ourselves as needy creatures, of our external piety that blinds us to the beam in our own eyes. Lent’s soul purpose is to strengthen the relationship with our self, God, and one another or we can just read the Cliff Notes.
Hope to see you soon, but until then take care of yourself and one another..
Peace & Grace,
Tommy

Monday, February 14, 2011

I Have Failed Miserably at Love If?

Today is Valentines Day, the day for lovers. Many guys will be rushing to Walgreen's on their lunch hour to grab a card, some chocolates, and a stuff bear. This day, as we as a society focus on love I have realized that love should not be celebrated one day a year but a way of life. Love is more than a romantic emotion, it is something deeper. It affects not only my soul but who I am as a person. It shapes my behavior, it controls my vocabulary, and it allows me to experience the highest essence of life. I love not because I have to but because I have the ability too.

I have failed miserably at love if I have waited for today to tell Kellie how much I love her, to hold her hand, to wipe away her tears, to hold her tight at night, or to pray with her. I have failed at love if I have waited for today to laugh with her, feel the pure joy when I see her when she walks through the door, or experience that tingling feeling in my stomach when she looks deep into my eyes. I have failed miserably if I have waited for today to plan a romantic experience to show her how much I still desire her.

 I am a total failure if I need someone else to find the words on a $5 card to tell her “I love you” or share my inner more self with her. I can not imagine my day without her in it so how sad it would be if I only express my love for her on one day. One day is just not enough to encompass the love I have for her because she was there for me when I needed her the most. When I was sick, down, depressed and hurting, she was there by my side. Love for my wife comes with years of memories, too many memories that can be compressed into a card, one day, or a box of chocolates. Love comes with gifts; gift of forgiveness, compassion, and understanding.

If I waited for this day to exhibit my love for Kellie, I have diminished my parental love for my children.  How will Abby know how she should expect to be loved by a man if I am not her example? How will Will know how to express his love for a woman if I am not his role model. Those lessons, those values, those daily expressions of love, shape their lives as well. My love for Kellie does actually transcend on to further generations. As much as I try, as great as I am, as big the task, it cannot be accomplished in one day.

Love is not a holiday but a way of life everyday. Like all days, I have good days and bad days, but perfection is not my end destination. Love is something that I must nurture, care for, work on, and never take for granted. It is my expedition to grow deeper in my relationship with the one person who brings me so much joy. Love is a long journey to death separates us in this life, so not knowing when that will be; I must not wait for one day a year.
Happy Valentines Day
I love you Kellie E. Henegar
 and NO this blog is NOT your gift.