Monday, February 14, 2011

I Have Failed Miserably at Love If?

Today is Valentines Day, the day for lovers. Many guys will be rushing to Walgreen's on their lunch hour to grab a card, some chocolates, and a stuff bear. This day, as we as a society focus on love I have realized that love should not be celebrated one day a year but a way of life. Love is more than a romantic emotion, it is something deeper. It affects not only my soul but who I am as a person. It shapes my behavior, it controls my vocabulary, and it allows me to experience the highest essence of life. I love not because I have to but because I have the ability too.

I have failed miserably at love if I have waited for today to tell Kellie how much I love her, to hold her hand, to wipe away her tears, to hold her tight at night, or to pray with her. I have failed at love if I have waited for today to laugh with her, feel the pure joy when I see her when she walks through the door, or experience that tingling feeling in my stomach when she looks deep into my eyes. I have failed miserably if I have waited for today to plan a romantic experience to show her how much I still desire her.

 I am a total failure if I need someone else to find the words on a $5 card to tell her “I love you” or share my inner more self with her. I can not imagine my day without her in it so how sad it would be if I only express my love for her on one day. One day is just not enough to encompass the love I have for her because she was there for me when I needed her the most. When I was sick, down, depressed and hurting, she was there by my side. Love for my wife comes with years of memories, too many memories that can be compressed into a card, one day, or a box of chocolates. Love comes with gifts; gift of forgiveness, compassion, and understanding.

If I waited for this day to exhibit my love for Kellie, I have diminished my parental love for my children.  How will Abby know how she should expect to be loved by a man if I am not her example? How will Will know how to express his love for a woman if I am not his role model. Those lessons, those values, those daily expressions of love, shape their lives as well. My love for Kellie does actually transcend on to further generations. As much as I try, as great as I am, as big the task, it cannot be accomplished in one day.

Love is not a holiday but a way of life everyday. Like all days, I have good days and bad days, but perfection is not my end destination. Love is something that I must nurture, care for, work on, and never take for granted. It is my expedition to grow deeper in my relationship with the one person who brings me so much joy. Love is a long journey to death separates us in this life, so not knowing when that will be; I must not wait for one day a year.
Happy Valentines Day
I love you Kellie E. Henegar
 and NO this blog is NOT your gift.

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