Future Family:Ideally Speaking the Perfect Family?

Today we kick off a brand new and exciting sermon series Future Family. I’m excited because in case you didn't know before I was called into ministry I worked as a counselor for at risk kids in many different settings. In counseling, it is obvious that an individual’s family of origin is vital in the development of character, affects all our relationships, defines our character, and sets the trajectory for success and failure in our life. So I’m excited because I personally get to mix my past experience and education with my current calling to serve Christ.  This sermon series has many challenges. First is the word “family” is diverse and is not emotionally neutral. Every family is different. There are no two families alike. The second challenge is the fact remains the words “father” and “mother” is not emotional neutral words. You hear those words and immediately they spark emotion either good or not so good.  But we do have two commonalities. First everyone came from a family and that when it comes to our family of origin; we had no choice in the matter. You can pick your friends, you can pick your spouse, but you can’t pick you family. In middle school I can remember wanting to pick my friends family over mine. Mine wasn't bad just their family was just cooler and had a ski boat. Second thing we all have in common is there seems to always come a point in your life when you realize that no one you are biologically related too is as smart as you.  You realize that if everyone would just listen to you, everything could be worked out: stop drinking as much; you might stay out of jail. Take a bath; you might actually meet someone who will date you. Even with the challenges and commonalities we tackle this because regardless of the debate going on today about same sex marriages and families, if you look at all non politically funded research the same sex parent is the most influential force, most powered force, over a child, so what we do or don’t do today affects the future family.

So when we take a social aspect and look at it through the lens of scripture you will find that in the Old Testament there is not one example of a healthy, vibrant family we can set as the bar to emulate.  The first homicide was two brothers, Cain & Able. First recorded civil war in Israel was David against his own son. Jesus parents lost him for three days when he was young. As we start this series it is important we understand that when the Apostle Paul took the teachings of Jesus to the Greek world, the idea of family was so new and so strange because never up until that time had any society or culture adopted them yet. We hear it and say, duh, that sounds so old fashion. We will hear words that to us seem outdated because in our culture we have come to except them but to them it was progressive thinking, new, and foreign. We say that’s so out dated, but to them it was strange, brand new way of thinking and acting especially when it comes to women and children. We forget that this New Testament society was one where women held lesser value than livestock. They wouldn't name their children until they were in their teens because they were not sure if they would survive. Parents would leave their inheritances to other people’s children if they thought their children were not responsible enough.  So when Jesus would pause and say, “let the children come to me” we say oh how cute. But those there at the time would say, “are you kidding me” let a child of lesser value take the spot of an adult.  The Apostle Paul elevates the status of women and children. Here is what is true today. In a society that follows a Christian world view women and children have fared better. In a society that has not embraced a Christian biblical world view women and children have suffered and have less value or rights. I know that some religious nuts have used the biblical text for their own twisted view on women and children for their own personal gain but if we take a honest look at the New Testament it open the door to a new world view. What Paul was preaching was not only mind boggling it gave women and children hope. It gave them value. Jesus died on the cross for all men, women, and children and they became equal citizens in the Kingdom of God when women and children were not citizens of any country. When you hear you are not valued or a citizens here in Rome but you are in God’s kingdom that is a huge life giving hopeful statement. That breathes life into a culture.  So what seems old fashioned to us is new and mind boggling and most importantly brought hope to those in that 1^st century.

Paul says in light of the gospel here is how a family should work.

Colossians 3:18-19   18 Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. (NIV)

Why would he say something like this? Women hear this and go submit, yeah right. Men hear this today and are like, “yeah I don’t really know what submit means but I could go for that.” Both genders only hear “wives - submit” and it doesn't move from there.  Paul addresses this because men in that culture were hash with their dogs, cattle, and they were harsh with their wives because she was not much more valuable. Paul says you are not to own, take advantage of, or process your wife, you are to love, value, respect your wife. We view this as an old fashion idea but their viewed it differently because it elevated the status of women. 

Colossians 3:20 & 21:

20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Parents here this and sort of elbow their children right now. Did you hear what he said? Paul God’s apostle says you got to OBEY in everything… If you want to be good with Jesus you have to obey me in everything…  But wait. The next verse says…

21 Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged. Another word here for embitter is exasperate. For me this is the one I fail the most. It is when we say something to our children, we are trying to be helpful, trying to be comforting or hopeful and somehow in the process we place a weight on them that causes them to be discouraged. You every noticed that one parent can say something to a child, good bad or indifference and it can seem to weigh like 50 lbs and another parent can say the exact same thing to that child and it seems to weigh like 500 lbs. It’s not equal  Let’s just admit it, there are some situations and some children that one parents influence weighs more than the other. Does this mean the child loves or favors one parent over the other? No! When Paul addresses fathers here he is saying men you tend to treat children and women like animals so stop it. We must be careful of the way we speak to our children. I have so many bad examples where I've failed on this. I say something stupid, I desperate want to take it back, but I can’t. Even if what I have said was true, it has crushed the spirit of my child. A parent told me how tough it was to make it in the music business, how barely anyone makes it, how much talent you have to have, how much luck you needed. All of that is true but I believed him so I didn't give it my very best because my spirit was crushed.

Peter says to be considerate of your wives, take into consideration how your wife feelings. Today men are like you sound like Oprah, the men of that time were saying “you got to be kidding.” “Be considerate of the feelings of my wife. I wife I didn't even choose, the wife my parents bartered for so I got the marry the middle daughter of our neighbor because my parents made a good deal on some livestock, be considerate of the way she feels, no one was concerned about how I felt. You want me to treat them with respect.”

So if we look only at a Biblical view it looks like this: Husbands love your wife and be considerate, wives submit to your husbands, children obey your parents, and parents don’t embitter or exasperated your children.

This brings us to tension of what we will be covering over the next several weeks. No one has come from the ideal family or perfect family. Since no one has come from the perfect family it is therefore impossible for you to create the prefect family. The ideal family does not exist because there is always a gap between the ideal and the real. There is real, there is ideal and there is tension between the two. Jesus understood and lived in this tension. Jesus constantly pointed to the kingdom of God and what that meant. Jesus always held up a very high standard. For example Jesus was asked about adultery. Everyone knew adultery was when a man had sex with anyone was not his wife was adultery. Jesus said yes that is true but if you even look at a woman in lust, that too is adultery. He took a standard and raised the bar. So what do we do when we miss this higher standard? Jesus says as the standard gets higher my grace and forgiveness grows deeper and your acceptance becomes broader. Jesus refused to condemn those who feel short. Jesus never ever condemns.

The questions remains are we willing to face an ideal that will never become a reality when it comes to our family? Are we tempted to lose sight of the ideal to feel better about where we actually are? Are we willing to embrace an ideal or lower our expectations when it comes to our family?

Jesus was comfortable with tension.

Turn with me to Matthew 19:3-8 as we look at family and this tension.

Matthew 19:3-6: ³ Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?”

⁴ “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’^[a] 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’^[b]? ⁶ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

We must understand that divorce during that century was nothing like divorce today. If a man wanted to divorce his wife, there was no attorney, he just publicly said, “I divorce you, I divorce you, I divorce you” that was it. If you were a woman, so sad too bad, she could not under any circumstance get out of the marriage.  Jesus says, “let me take you back to the beginning, when things were perfect, when they were exactly the way God created it.” Tension. Jesus said I will take you back to the ideal and place it up to the real.  I am not sure what to do with the tension. Jesus says a marriage is when God puts tow people together they are made one. You are trying to un one what God has made one.

Verse: 7-9

⁷ “Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?”

⁸ Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. ⁹ I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”

They came to test Jesus, now they want information and ask then why Did Moses say divorce was ok? Jesus said in the beginning divorce was not in the plan. In the ideal divorce is not in the plan. But I fully understand in marriages there are deal breakers: addictions, abuse, manipulation, infidelity, abandonment.  But what Jesus is saying, what I am saying is divorce is not ideal. When I meet people they want the other person to change, get healthy, be responsible, love, caring compassionate they don’t go into a marriage with the ideal being it will end in divorce. So ok Jesus what are you and this faith community going to do with all these divorce people in our community? We are going to love them. What are we going to do? Jesus said I am going to give my life for them. So Jesus is it a law or not a law. Jesus said yes.

As we explore further in this sermon series we must be accustomed to this kind of tension. It is not to make anyone feel bad or condemn you or input guilt about your past. We hope in the weeks ahead to look at the reality in which we live and function today and the tension between that and the ideal, the perfect way God intended it to be.

So where are we? Are we willing to strive for the ideal or just redefine our reality so we feel better about ourselves?  I have worked with youth who were sexually, physically, and emotionally abused by a parent and thought that was normal and that all parents did those things to their children. They had no concept of the ideal so they had redefined their reality by redefining the role of a parent. When they did that you can see why they became abusers themselves.

When it comes to our family are we going to use God’s ideal to be our target we aim for. Will God’s ideal be the thing that guides or calibrates our compass or am I going to change the rules and expectations so I feel better about where I am?

Let’s be honest. If we as followers of Jesus don’t change the rules and consistently fail to reach the ideal, we will begin to feel bad about ourselves. We will begin to condemn our own actions. Jesus doesn't want us to feel that way. Every single one of us falls short, we all deal with the pain and regret that goes along with that tension. But God grace is bigger than that. God doesn't want us to feel that way. When we begin to change the rules we lose. We loose with our family, we lose in our relationships, and we lose in our faith.

If reality is not good why is Jesus’s ideal the best way forward? Here is what I have experienced. Wither they were a follower of Jesus or not, I have never ever met a father or met a mother that wanted divorce for their children.  They may wanted desperately for one of both parties to change, get healthy, plug into the relationships, be monogamous, to feel safe,  but not one desired a divorce for their children. In fact those who have faced the pain, loneliness, isolation, desperation and the hopelessness of divorce are the ones that want a healthy successful marriage for their children more than anything else in the world. No matter their view of scripture, no matter their world view, there is something inside of all of us that refuses to lose sight of the ideal when it comes to our kids and grandchildren. I have yet to meet a single mother who wishes, dreams, or wants their child to be a single parent. We all want something ideal for our children.

In reality when we hold up Jesus’ ideal, our society, our media, our culture, the messages in film and music will say that’s so old fashion we need to change the rules. But for us that follows Jesus we need to say, “That may worked for you but we are keeping the ideal.” We will live in this tension you are creating. We will mess up, we will fall short, but we will not change the rules so we can just feel better about our roles as husbands and wives. I’m willing to live in the tension between the reality and the ideal Jesus gave us.

So as we move forward in this series I will be giving some practical advice. If I offend you or your current situation it is not my intention so please let us move forward with grace and forgiveness because the odds are I will say something stupid. But my prayer is that we can embrace this tension to do and be better because the future of our families depend on it.

“Me, Elvis & Jesus”

“Me, Elvis & Jesus”

I was born and raised in the Holy Land of Rockin Roll, Memphis Tennessee. Growing up we found our city identity as the hometown of Elvis Vernon Presley. While a new generation has no reference to exactly who Elvis was and what he meant to music, they identify with another hometown guy Justin Timberlake. I am the perfect age to have appreciated both. There was a phenomenon with both these men and maybe it was with all hometown celebrities but as you would travel around town you would hear of “Elvis sightings” or “Justin Timberlake sightings”.

You could walk into a restaurant and there would be a sort of electricity in the air and people would quickly tell you, Justin Timberlake was in here or Elvis ate here on time.

This week after the crescendo to Easter, we sort of go on with Spring never looking back. In a somber moment I honestly wish those of us who follow Jesus were more like Elvis fans. Unless you have witnessed it yourself, you cannot imagine that 35 years after his death hundreds of thousands of fans gather from all over the world to light a candle, listen to his music, and to share with one another how Elvis’s music touched their lives. It is literally breath taking to witness a sea of strangers of different ages, different ethnicities, and different social classes all coming together as one to share in the Elvis experience. While 99% of the people believe that Elvis is physically dead there are 1% that still believes Elvis faked his own death and is living in a retirement home in Michigan. But if you experience Elvis Death Week in Memphis you will clearly see that Elvis is not dead. Yes, he died on August 16, 1977 but his presence is very much still alive. There are hundreds of Elvis impersonators, people still listen to his music, tour his house, and share their Elvis experience with anyone who will listen. The fans of Elvis have a devotion, sincerity, compassion, commitment, commonality, and resolve that I wish we had for

Jesus. I am not saying Elvis was like Jesus, but what if after Easter we followers of Jesus emulated the fans of Elvis. What if we didn’t care about age, social class, denominations, and ethnicities and gathered to share our experiences with Jesus. I want to share with the next generation my Jesus experiences and sightings. Wonder what our community would look like if we told how Jesus affected our life with the same zeal. What if we worshipped with the same electricity to celebrate God’s love for us with the same intensity as if Jesus was in the building? What would our relationship with Christ be like if we loved others in the same fanaticism as Elvis fans? Elvis said early in his career, "Music and religion are similar--because both should make you wanna move." I believe EP was right. The gospel is a living, vibrant force that should make us wants to get out and move, move around in the world, move towards each other in love and compassion, move towards bringing others into the kingdom. I don’t want to be Thomas (please overlook the irony) who waited for proof. I want to join with others who have devotion, sincerity, compassion, commitment, and resolve to be a fan of Jesus. I want a religion that makes me wanna move. I don’t want to stop the momentum of Easter, ever. I want a savior that makes me wanna put on a sequin jump suit and sing. I want to believe in a Jesus that lives. I want to live like Jesus is alive and is in the building…

Tommy

Future Family beginning April 14, 2013

Family…

It is true that we can choose our friends, we can choose our spouse, we can choose our vocation or career path but we cannot choose our family. Each of us no matter the connection or closeness has a family. A healthy, nurturing, wholesome and loving family is NOT the norm for most people. Our character, self-worth, actions, attitudes, our ability to handle life and the way we function in relationships are directly tied to our family of origin. When you search the entire Bible you will not find one example of a healthy functional family. All families in the Bible are very much dysfunctional in today’s standard. While there are not good examples of healthy families in scripture we can still learn a lot about who we are as individuals and how our family dynamics define who we are, shape who we are, and set for us a trajectory on life’s journey. During this sermon series, we as a faith family will look what is the ideal or perfect family, what is required of us, how we react when there is conflict in our family, everything there is to know about parenting, why we all long for a parents approval, and what legacy are we leaving for our family. This will be a defining moment for clarity, understanding, and hope as we uncover the affects our family has over us. Please make plans now not to miss one week of this sermon series. Invite someone, especially a family member, as we learn to live with our family and become aware of the influence it has on all aspects of our life.

What’s with a Mascot?

When you venture around the small town in which I live, Centralia Illinois, you sadly will not find much. Centralia once was a booming economical center that joins three different counties. The profits of coal, oil, and railroad industries drove the local economy. Unfortunate those days are long gone and left in its wake only a memory of how things use to be. If one took an unbiased snap shot there is not really much unity, no economic growth, and a slight racial and social divide that is almost always over looked. Sadly enough if you stopped here you would find that Centralia on the outside resembles many other nameless small towns that are struggling for mere survival to avoid total extinction.

Over the past few weeks there seems to be a awaking if you will. It began with a simple contest by USA Today over the Best High School Mascot contest. One cannot venture anywhere in this small city without overhearing conversations about how many hours people have been online voting. (as I write Centralia Orphans currently hold a lead with over 63% of the total votes.) The Orphan nation have over 10 million votes in a town that hold less than 10,000 residences. The enthusiasm, pride, and accomplishment are overwhelming, it’s contagious, and it’s intoxicating all over a mascot.

I must confess I am not from Centralia; my family was called to serve a small church in August 2007. When I was told the high school mascot was an orphan my first thought was how depressing. Think about it for a minute. An orphan is an individual that is abandoned, unwanted, someone who has no one to love them, or show them attention. An Orphan is not a display of a fierce competitor. Anyone can defeat an orphan. I had heard the Orphans had the most wins in boys’ basketball than any other team in the national although they have not won a state title in approximately 70 years. I actually began to pity the orphans. I could not understand how a town could have pride in something so unbecoming. It seemed that this town had been orphaned by businesses, factories, state and local jobs, and a sense of hope. Maybe this town had been orphaned by success, advancement, and prosperity.

That is the image from the outside. Once you live here you will find that Orphans means so much more. Our mascot maybe the only thing holding this community together in desperate times of uncertainly, however it is much more than a mascot. It is a multi generational sense of pride. Great grandparents, grandparents, parents and children all were proud Orphans. Multi generations have an immediate common bound of unity, can share stories of sporting events over other rivals, and disclose the same experience with teacher, and staff who have served them at Centralia High School. Different generations can share names of players, coaches, and big games. This mascot allows those things that divide us to dissolve. This mascot represents not a weakness but an inner toughness that is ingrained in the people of this town. This mascot and contest means so much to this community because it is one way we can proclaim to the nation, this small town in Southern Illinois will not be forgotten. The saying is true that “once an orphan always an orphan.” As a proud parent of a senior Orphan and an incoming freshmen Orphan it is exactly why we choose to be an orphan. Being an Orphan instills a sense of pride, hard work, and determination that I desperately want instilled in my children. It is something not found anywhere else. I want them to develop the character of an orphan that no matter the task at hand, no matter the current circumstance, no matter what life throws at you, stand tall, be proud, and go change you world. It’s about being proud of the effort and hard work of each student, regardless of the accomplishments or success. What we all need to realize it that to be an orphan is to be loved not only by a school but by an entire community. It is something we all need at the deepest core of our being: to be loved by an entire community. 

When we win this contest will our city’s troubles be miraculous cured? No. But will we will face the future knowing that when this community unites it can make a nation stand up and take notice. We will be better off as we face an uncertain tomorrow with a new since of strength, pride, and resolve. Maybe we can use this awakening to address what we can do to better our community. At the very least we will have let the entire nation know we are Orphans, we are proud, and being an orphan is much more than you know unless you experience it. What’s with the mascot? Everything because it is more than meets the eye as our entire nation would be better off if we simple had more Orphans. 

What's in the Details...

As a small child growing up in a Disciples congregation, I can remember with fondness the processional on Palm Sunday. We got to march in with the choir, waving our palm branches, and for once a year, we children were the center of attention of the worship service. I can also recall the lady who was in “charge” of us. She was a stickler to detail. She instructed us how to hold our palms, wave our palms, how to march, how to not smile, walk straight, and look happy. There is the year I am told that is still used to caution the children of my home church that I decided to rebel from such instructions and free style dance my way down the center aisle. She was not too happy that I didn't stick to the details but I became a legend. Our adult life is full of details: phones keep ringing when we need to not be disturbed, emails that need a reply, children get sick at the most inconvenient time. We struggle with the details of our bodies that don’t work like they once did: details of doctor’s appointments, specialist, medical test and medication. Not to mention our children’s homework, athletics, orthodontics appointments, and school activities. It can make anyone yearn to free style it down the center aisle.

We tend to think spirituality means escaping the concern with details. Spiritual people we think live very simple lives. We think they don’t worry about mortgages, doctor appointments or going to church committee meetings. We quickly stereotype them as sandals wearing, praying, granola eating feeding the birds type people. That is far from the biblical understanding of spirituality. According to scripture, the main hindrance to our spirituality is that we pay too much attention to the wrong details. When we study the life of Jesus we find there are many details Jesus ignored. Jesus didn't worry about the detail of urgency. He was never a victim of the urgent demands of others. He didn't worry about the detail of effectiveness only faithfulness. Jesus never worried about the detail of recognition or popularity.  Details that consume us never crossed Jesus’ mind. We tend to overlook the details that Jesus was concerned about. Our souls are starving because we have tried so hard to save ourselves by controlling the wrong details that we have no energy left for the detail of finding a Savior.

On Palm Sunday Jesus was a stickler for detail. Why? Because when Jesus sat upon that young colt and began his ride into Jerusalem, not only did it specifically validate the minute details as recorded by the prophet Zechariah centuries early, but some people around him were wise enough to recognize the exact moment of their salvation. They cut branches and laid them down on the ground in front of Him. They began to shout and sing, “Blessed is the king who comes in the name of the Lord! Peace in heaven and glory in the highest heaven!” This singing of psalms was a worship detail repeated every Passover and feast.  We know the details of Palm Sunday, the last Supper, Good Friday, and Easter. We have gone through them year after year. Why do this again? For the same reason we continue to line up our children and have them lead the processional. It’s the only way we can take our eyes off the things that do not mater and set them upon the arrival of the Savior. The coolest thing is that once we have learned to look for Jesus, we will find him in every detail of our life.

Let us all act Like children and Dance, Sing, and wave our Palms..

Tommy

The Disease of Routine

Life is an adventure. It is full of ups and downs, twist and turns, and expected and unexpected events. We all have dreams and desires we want to accomplish. I think deep down we all have a desire for more in our life. We all have a desire to grow in certain areas or season of our lives. We want to grow in our finances, grow as parents and grandparents, grow in our relationships, and grow in our emotional sates as well. We have built inside each of us by God, the One who created, knows and loves us, a desire to be more in this life to grow and make things better. The reality is that even though we have a desire for more, the default setting on our life is routine. We become creatures of habit and routine as it robs us from any growth. Not all routine is bad. Brushing your teeth, showering daily, exercising, reading your Bible are good habits or routines we need. But the danger with some areas of routine is that we can become too comfortable, lackadaisical, or content that we do not live up to our greatest potential. We stop dreaming, stop engaging, stop trying anything new, and stop moving forward. The extreme danger is we stop believing that there is more, that we can grow, or that life has more to offer. We begin to cruise through life on autopilot. We dampen our desire to grow, get more out of life, and live up to our greatest potential. This happens in our personal life, our relationship with Christ, and our faith community as well. Even worship can fall into a routine where we attend out of obligation and not out of a desire to grow and get more out of this life.

When Jesus first began his earthly ministry he understood this principle. On the shore of a lake, Jesus encountered a guy who was stuck in life. Simon was in a routine and pattern in his life that was comfortable but he stopped dreaming for more. Simon and his brothers were in the family fishing business just like their father, their father’s father and generations before them. They were not rich but were able to make a decent living for themselves. Simon’s life was not filled with chaos but he was a victim of sameness. That one encounter with Jesus that day changed not only the course of Simon’s life but the entire world as we know it. Sometimes it takes an enlightening incident in our life to jar us out of routine. Sometime it takes a sobering reflection on our current situation to ignite our desire to grow and get more out of our life. In reality isn’t life too short to not get out of it all we can even if that means getting out of those things that are comfortable, predictable, and controllable? If you want more out of life, if you want to grow in an area of your life, go to the lake shore and revisit Jesus and Simon. It may just spark some growth in your life.
Peace, Love & Happiness:
Tommy

Trying to Make Sense Out of the Senseless…

In the middle of the Advent season, on December 15^th a gunman walked into Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newton, CT and opened fire killing 26 children and adults. Just minutes before in Memphis, TN a 15 year old shot two Memphis Police officers, killing one officer who was a single mother of five young children. In times of senseless tragedies, all faith leaders search for words of comfort as well as clarity. Some faith leader’s comments or reflections will be helpful, others unfortunately will not. While we all search of discernment and understanding, here is my first reaction and response. I pray you will find it helpful in the days ahead as we try to continue to celebrate Advent in spite of these tragedies and in honor of all the victims.  

Mary had every reason to feel betrayed and abandoned by God. She was a young teen, unmarried and pregnant, and lived in extreme poverty. Mary held on through this confusion to the promise of God, holding tightly to the words of the angel: “You are highly favored, the lord is with you.” And despite Mary’s confusion and emotionally troubled reaction in the angel telling her she was pregnant; we find her deep in the story holding on to hope and faith. In the gospel of Luke 1:46-49 Mary declares, “My soul magnifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my savior, for he has been mindful of the humble state of his servant. From now on all generations will call me blessed, for the Mighty one has done great things for me, Holy is his name.” It didn't matter what anyone else in the community would think or say about her condition. Mary hung onto the promises of God, and responded with a song of daring, boundless faith. Her focus was not on her emotional state or on her challenging situation but on the love of God, who promises a future of hope. Mary trusted in God’s promise, knowing God’s outrageous way of working good out of seemingly impossible, horridly, and tragic situation. Here is what I know from Mary. There is no reasoning or theology that can justify or clarify why someone would walk into a class room full of innocent children and systematically slaughter them. There is no platform or political view that can justify why a 15 year old kid, in my home town of Memphis, would open fire on two police officers, killing a single mother of five. There are no words of pastoral comfort you can give to a family who did nothing wrong, but instead of buy Christmas toys, will be picking out caskets to bury their children. There are no magical words or prayer that we could recite that would turn back time and prevent things like this for happening. There is no policy, procedure or drill that can keep our children 100% safe all the time when they are out of our sight. I wish it wasn't so but it is just the reality in which we live. I wish that life was not messy. I wish that life was always free of pain, hurt and disappointment. I so wish we lived in a world where only the guilty felt anguish and the innocent are always protected. I wish we lived in a world where children wouldn't have to die, where children do not go to bed hungry, and where every child had a healthy, loving, protective, and supportive relationship with both their parents. I wish no one would have to battle life threatening illnesses, feel the pain of the death of a loved one, or the severe consequences of addictions, divorce, or poverty.

Regardless of what we wish for in difficult and tragic times it is normal that we get derailed and loose our God bearings.  We forget the promises of God. In times like Friday we overlook Emmanuel that God is with us. God created us, loves us, pursues a relationship with us, and forgives us. We can begin to feel, especially when tragedy hits, even if we are not impacted directly, the lingering consequences as it affects our daily lives. We will worry more when we drop off our children at school. We will get angry at the one who caused this. We will want to blame someone or something. We will listen to everyone jump on their own agenda and soapbox and use this senseless tragedy to their own advantage. News broadcast will keep replaying it over and over again to keep ratings up. We will all want answers; we will all want to do something to help both in the healing and in the prevention.  It is especially vital in times like these we do not listen to all these voices but cling to the promises of God.

So in light of this advent season, in light of the past two days, it is important to return to the things we hold absolute. First and foremost, the God we serve and worship, the God that loves us, is the God of love and life. God did not make this happen to teach us anything, to punish anyone, or because God is mad at us. I honestly don’t need to know the why but I am certain with all my being that God welcomed those people into his kingdom with open arms. I know that those children, those teachers, that police officer is now in a place where they are feel no pain, where they feel safe, where they are comforted. God will do the same for us one day also. Second, God has designed us to live in community and what happens in a community affects us all. We must understand this is a two sided coin. On one side, my actions positively or negatively affect not only myself but others around me. On the other side, I must comprehend that I am not an island although I may feel alone; ultimately I am not alone in my pain, my struggles, or my current situation.  Emmanuel is with me and so are His people. This is a huge gift. We can influence those around us with God’s help.  It is a time of Advent which means “coming” or “arriving.” I don’t know how, when, or in what form but God is coming to those families who lost their babies and loved ones. God will show up. God will give comfort, strength, and hope. Just like that baby that was inside that pregnant scared teenager, God will remind each of us that he loves us and we are to love one another. Especially in times like these. I have said before but lastly: we don’t live in a spiritual neutral environment. There are forces, there is evil, there is the devil, Lucifer or Fred, death, cancer, disease or whatever you want to name it, but they are out there and they want us to panic, destroy relationships, or to lose hope and faith in God and one another. Trust me. There are things out there that do not want us to love our neighbor, trust our neighbor, and have compassion for one another. There are things and situations like the shootings in CT, but also in our everyday life that will cause us to question the reason of our own existence. That will tell us to just give in, give up, and destroy our life. Whatever you name it, it wants you to doubt your worth on this earth. We will think we are not lovable. But God love us anyway. Even when we try to make things better we will still make mistakes. Romans 3:23-24 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. We will all still mess up and God loves us anyway. We will all sin, we will all fall short, and God will still pursue us, love us, and forgive us. In times of uncertainty, in times of turmoil, we must clench tightly to hope and faith. We must cling to the fact that we can make a better safer world for our children and grandchildren. We must live as those that have faith that God will protect the ones we love. Our actions, every single one, should be to reassure our children that they are loved and safe. Don’t be afraid to talk with them about the shooting. Listen to their worries, fears and concerns. Only will they be truly nurtured and flourish if they know without conditions that someone will protect them and that they are loved unconditionally. When we all feel loved and secure, we can begin to flourish, grow, and transform this dark world we see now into something brighter. We must love each other even when we feel unlovable or we feel the other person is unlovable. If we don’t we breed into the next generation mistrust and without trust there cannot be peace, security, or hope. We must also realize time is a gift. Treasure each moment you have with the ones you love, you never know when they will be gone. Hug more, talk more, and forgive now because you never know if you will get a second chance. Make peace; use this moment to repair damaged relationships. Put aside the petty, open up communication, and let healing begin. Pray daily for those who are hurting. God will answer your prayers. Please remember even in the hurt, confusion, anger, and scary times in our lives we can learn from the pregnant scared teenager: it is then we see Emmanuel, God with us, as we are loved by him and that love will propel us from this season of pain and confusion into a brighter future.

Peace, Love, Hope, and Joy:

Tommy