Being In Love....

In a very brief but intense moment of self discovery, I have found that I love God but am not “in love” with God anymore. I have somehow allowed the slow deterioration of my profession rob me of that love. Trying to minister and please many different people daily, I have lost a love I desperately need and want that formulated who I am. I preach, talk, and study Jesus everyday. I assist others with their questions, insights, and the relevance Christ has in their daily life. I am deeply grateful of the blessing God has bestowed on me and my family. But a huge part is still missing.


I want to be “in love” with Christ again. I want to feel His presence like that day I did as a teenager when I felt all alone. I want to get nervous, scared, and anxious when I prepare for worship like I did when I was at the Lake Side Chapel at Bethany Hills in front of all my friends only worrying about touching someone, and not being cool. I want to once again experience that unconditional love, energy, and acceptance I felt as Kellie and I fellowshipped with hundreds teenagers at Kingsway. I desperately need to feel the hands of the Elders once again who laid their hands on me as I was ordained into ministry. I want to pray with confidence and boldness not just with hope. If Christ is my bride, I need a couples retreat. I want to feel the spiritual awakening as I take out my guitar and write of how Christ loves me without restrictions of wondering what others will think. I want romance to be apart of my worship. I want to laugh, dance, and have fun in the experience of time spent together. I want to live each day glowing, radiating with the love of Jesus Christ that everyone will inquire about that love too. I want to live my life where the only thing people can say at my eulogy is: “Man that dude was crazy, but he sure taught us how to love God, love our wives our children, and our family, and love our friends.” I must search for that spark, that fire, that deep mojo that once drew me so close to my relationship with Christ. I must revisit those old places we use to hang out at. I no longer want that happens in our world to deter me from the love I urgently desire. I must be intentional on finding that time and place to be “in love” once again. There I will find my truest potential.
Live, Love, Laugh,
Tommy