Unwrapping the Gift

Calvin Coolidge once said that: Christmas is not a time nor a season, but a state of mind. To cherish peace and goodwill, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of Christmas. I could not agree with him more. Christmas time is a time of preparation. To clean out the clutter of our lives, our souls, and the unresolved issues that has prevented us from truly allowing Christ into our lives. Christmas is a time of reflection of Christmases past, present, and future. We reminisce about Christmases of our youth, when loved ones we lost were still with us. We recall Christmases that hold both good and bad memories and realize they shape who we are. We prepare, shop, and decorate for this year, and we also dream of the Christmases to come. It is easy to get caught up in the enthusiasm of Christmas only to be let down later if we let it.


Advent is two fold. It is a celebration of the historic event when the great distance between heaven and earth was closed by the birth of a child. Advent is a remembrance of a single event when Jesus Christ was born into our world. Advent is also the acknowledgement of the gifts our Savior brings. The Christ child brings the gift of hope which enables us to navigate through the hardships, the pain, and the fears of this life. When we unwrap this gift of hope we realize God is with us through all the ups and downs of our life. When we unwrap the gift of peace, we realize at that exact moment, it is through Christ we find that inner peace we all long for. In the deepest depths of our soul, we all desire that inner peace. A confidence that no matter what happens to us, through Christ everything will turn out all right. When we unwrap Christ’s gift of joy for us, we find that elation in the simple blessing in life. With the joy we find in Christ we are able to not always focus on the negative, the bad, or the ugly but see not only the goodness in our lives but the best in all humanity. Through this gift we find life is a joy and full of God’s simple blessings. Last but not least, Christ brings for us the gift of love. Love is the most powerful gift we receive. Love allows us to begin to mold our own life after that of Christ. The moment we recognize Christ’s unconditional love we too being to love others the same way. We are able to look past the outside and accept people as they are. We are able to build them up instead of tearing them down, we are able to understand their frustrations instead of being critical, and we are able to offer them grace or a soft place to land instead of judgment.

These gift that Christ has for us are not gifts we play with until the newness wears off or the batteries go dead. They are not presents that quickly loose their glitter or glory but they transform who we are. They are intended to remold our character, recalibrate our moral compass, and strengthen us for whatever lies ahead. God sent us the most precious gift of all, a child, to enrich and transform our lives. Advent is not a time or a season but an opportunity to truly appreciate, cherish, and use God’s gifts to us. Because the best gift I can give others this Christmas, is a better me.
May God bless you and touch your hart like never before..

From our family to yours, Merry Christmas..
Hope, Peace, Joy and Love,
Tommy, Kellie, Abby & Will Henegar

“Sleep Well, Dream Big, Love Bigger”

What have you been dreaming about lately? Christmas time is a time to dream. Some of us are dreaming about wonderful possibilities. We're dreaming of pearl necklaces and sugar plum fairies and new bicycles. I hope all those dreams come true!

Some time ago, Time magazine published an intriguing cover article during the Advent season. The article that struck my attention was about sleep as I am one who struggles with sleep. For all that we know about the human body these days, scientists do not know the exact reason why we need sleep. We know why we need food, shelter, and clothing; but we do not know the reason why we need sleep.

And what is the reason for dreams, those strange images that bounce along our brain waves? We wake suddenly, and reality itself seems like a different world. Why do we need sleep? I believe the answer is this: We need sleep because we need to dream.

The Fourth Sunday of Advent is about a dream, the dream of Joseph. Not Mary's dream, but Joseph's dream. In fact, the story of the angel Gabriel appearing to the Virgin Mary appears in only one gospel, the gospel of Luke. In two other gospels, Mark and John, there is no account whatsoever of the physical birth of Jesus. We have four gospels, and they differ dramatically in how they tell the story of the birth of Jesus. In Matthew's gospel, the angel appears not to Mary at all, but to Joseph.

And it is Matthew's gospel that we read this year (Matthew 1:18-25). It is Joseph we hear and consider his point of view. Joseph dreamed something wonderful. It was astounding. God would enter the world. God would be born to his wife, as crazy as that was to understand. Joseph had some serious trusting in God to do! But Joseph had to trust someone else, too. Joseph had to trust Mary. I know Mary was his wife, and surely Joseph must have loved Mary. But, still, this took a lot of trust! And this is why Joseph's dream is so important. Joseph dreamed of the salvation of the world.

And for Joseph, the way of salvation meant trusting someone else. It may well be that true salvation comes through someone else. That is the lesson for us, too. Like Joseph, sometimes, we are supposed to trust God and then get out of the way. Trust that God is working through our wife, and then get out of the way. Trust that God is working in our children, and then get out of the way.

What are you giving for Christmas this year? I do not mean what are you getting. We all want something wonderful, I am sure. But what are you giving for Christmas? The greatest gift you can give this year is to believe in someone's dreams. The greatest gift you can give is to have faith in someone else; believe in their dreams. Believe in the dreams of the person you love. Believe in the dream of your husband. Believe in the dream of your wife. Believe in the dreams of your children. Believe in the dream of your hero, your leader, your friend. Believe in their dreams!

And sleep comfortably this season. I know some folks do not sleep well because of too much worry. The reason we sleep is to dream.The reason we have relationships is so that we will have someone who will believe in our dreams. God works through those relationships. God works through both Mary and Joseph. God needs both Luke's story of the annunciation to Mary and Matthew's story of Joseph's dream. They are miracle stories. God works through a young and wonderful woman, and her husband believes in her. That miracle can occur again and again. Believe in the dreams of the person you love. Believe in dreams this Christmas, and Jesus will be born again. Believe in dreams this Christmas, and yes, God will appear.

Sleep well, dream big and take care of yourself and one another..
Hope, Peace, Joy & Love,
Tommy

Confessions of a Sports Dad

For me there is no other joy or honor than being a father. I have always tried to improve on my fathering skills by loving my children, accepting them as God created them, and supporting them in all their endeavors. I do my best to be there for them anytime. I have sat in bleachers in rusty molded gyms, cold soccer fields and blazing hot football fields watching my children compete. I have yelled, tried not to embarrass, (which is very hard to do) and felt a true inner sense of pride witnessing my children excel. I have refrained at times of pushing them too hard or reliving my youth through them. I believe I have kept a good balance between praise and constructive helpful criticism. At times I will admit I have gotten carried away, caught up in the moment, and even lost it a time or two. When an opposing coach intentionally had their player injury Abby, I was almost became the CNN news footage we have all seen before. But by the grace of God and some parent s, I managed to calm down and take a time out. I probably was wrong but no one likes to see their children hurt. I have always tried to allow their respective coaches coach and me just be supportive from the stands. I believe that is my role as their father.


I recently learned a deeper joy and pride as a sports father. Will and Abby both have excelled in every sport they have attempted. I am not bragging or boasting they just have. Both have always made any team they have tried out for. I am proud for the fact that what they lack in natural ability they make up for in work ethic. That would be enough but that is not what causes the pride to swell up in my soul.

The last few days I have witnessed in both Abby & Will excel in athletics in a different way. It just recently became cognizant to me. It has been there all along but I just now somehow seemed to notice it. It began with Will. Will has more than excelled in any sport he has ever attempted. His true passion is football. If anyone could watch him play or practice you can see the elation he has. The rougher and harder it is, the more his love for the game grows. This season he played every down both sides of the ball and made spectacular plays. He was a team leader on and off the field. He was first in line on every drill. Not bragging, but to watch him play he really does have a natural gift. You can see it in his walk and his demeanor. It is a since of self-esteem and pride for him. Every game he made a game changing play and just has a gift well beyond the other boys his age.

I noticed my pride and joy in a different way in which he shined. Will is now in the middle of basketball season. The other night in the game, Will never got in the game. Will rode the bench the entire game for the first time in his whole life in any sport. While the coach’s son kept making a million mistakes, and of course would not take his own son out of the game, Will sat the bench. I’m not saying if Will was in the game they would have won. But Will has never, ever been on a team where he did not play. Instead of the game, I focused on my son. I watched attentively as the minutes ticked by and the game was moving to a close. He shouted words of encouragement to his teammates. He was the first on to jump off the bench and give high fives as the boys came off the court. He never asked or begged to go in. After the game he padded each of his teammates on the back. The team lost. The coach was pissed. But Will was the only one giving everyone words and signs of encouragement. Will’s only statement after the game, “I wished I could have played but oh well.” He wasn’t mad, or upset; just disappointed he didn’t get to play. I was more disappointed than he was.

His maturity was amazing for an eleven year old athlete. Will demonstrated how to give his best to the team from the bench. He didn’t have to be on the court to shine. I felt as much pride for him that day as if he had scored the winning touchdown in the Super Bowl. It is a joy to witness God using him to encourage others, to put others before his own desires to play, and to give his all on or off the bench. I have witnessed Abby awake before dawn to go to practice while her parents are still in bed sound asleep. To give her all, to listen and learn any sport she attempts. She recently said, “Dad you don’t have to come to the game. It’s varsity. I won’t get to play.” Yes Abby I do have to be there, see it gives me a since of joy and pride. You don’t have to get in the game to make me proud I’m proud already. The athlete you are off the court is more important than the one on the court.

So I’ll always been in the stands, yelling at the ref’s, eating nasty salty popcorn, beaming with pride of the true athletes my children have become on the court or on the bench. Sometimes God opens our eyes to the true character that He is transforming you into. To catch a glimpse of it from the bleachers is good enough for me. It gives me an inner joy and pride, to know I haven’t mess you up to much…
One proud Father..
Tommy

“Warning: Christmas is Coming”

 Advent is an expedition. It is preparing for Christ, a time to de-cluttering our lives, and make room in our souls for something new. It is a time we focus on the romantic story of a child, the Messiah, born in a stable. Advent is filled with awe, wonder, tradition, and expectations. During the time of Advent, begins a debate or division between the Happy Holidays people and the Merry Christmas people. (Note: That is another topic for another article, but my belief in Christ is not offended if someone tells me Happy Holidays, although I’m a Merry Christmas guy.)


Advent is the time to get out of our heads and let go of our notions about "What Jesus Would Do?" in this great debate and look at what Jesus is doing. If we do not, we will simply miss the true essences of Advent. Advent is the time to let go of those preconceptions of who the Messiah should be and enter the deep dark cold of winter. It is also time we should focus on exactly who Christ was. Advent is the beginning of the church year because we start all over. We leave our scripts of every thing we know; the pain of our past mistakes, the joys and accomplishments of last year, and begin the new journey toward Bethlehem. Like Mary and Joseph, we stop thinking about some ideal life and look instead at where we are.

• No, I didn't expect to be unmarried and pregnant.

• No, I didn't expect to be have all those people whisper behind my back.

• But here I am, God's servant; show me the way.

Like Mary and Joseph, now is the time to leave the familiar country of the old and begin the journey into the dark of newness. We leave our assumptions behind; we leave behind the ways we have put God in a box. We look for God in new ways - not the idea of God, but the experience of God. Remember what Jesus says to John's disciples: "Go and tell John what you hear and see: The blind receive their sight; the lame walk; the lepers are cleansed; the deaf hear; the dead are raised; and the poor have good news brought to them."

In other words: Wake UP. Instead of thinking about our idea of the perfect Messiah, look and see what the Messiah is doing all around you and in your life. Stop thinking of God outside yourself - outside your life; look for the Divine Presence right where you are.

One day we must realize that Jesus is not a concept or a theory to be confirmed or disproved during Christmas. Jesus is the bringer of life -abundant life - eternal life - and He is bringing life to us right now. So often we think of Christmas as a religious history lesson. We are interested in how the world worked 2000 years ago. What exactly was the census, and what were the marriage customs? And who were the magi? Where their really cows at there?

All of that is interesting, but none of it gets to the real point which is: Do you experience God being born in your life? Do you recall how God has answered your prayers? Have you forgotten the excitement of Christmas from your childhood? The birth of Christ is now and here. Jesus is always being born and because of that people we know - people like us - are being transformed.

That's how they know Jesus is the One. And that's how we know Christ is the Messiah. Advent is the stirring of the divine in our life and in our world. Advent is the time for us to leave our safe houses and experience that stirring first hand. Like Mary and Joseph we too begin a journey that can change or life forever, if we dare.

See ya in church, Merry Christmas, and until then take care of yourself and one another.

Hope, Peace, & Joy,

Tommy

Change for Christmas?

What do you want for Christmas this year? No really? What do you long for this year? Advent focuses on anticipating and preparing for the coming of Jesus, the Christ. This sense of anticipation and preparation covers all three dimensions of time. We look back to see and learn from the manner in which the first century people longingly anticipated and prepared for the first coming of the Messiah. We too long for One whom will arrive and change our current situation. We also look now for ways in which the Anointed might appear in our current circumstances. We look for Christ’s presences in our current situation, in our current pain, in our current joy. We also expect and get ready for a future manifestation of the Christ of God in a world that still needs comforting, healing and reconciliation. In a basic human sense we all hold and anticipation of Christ’s arrival to change our current situation, we look closely to see Christ presently in our current situation, and we prepare ourselves for God’s comfort, healing, and reconciliation. That is what most of us really want for Christmas.

As we read and recall the stories of Advent, we must not forget John the Baptist. John the Baptist was a man of passion and conviction, who was not afraid to speak the truth. Unfortunately, speaking the truth and popularity don’t always go hand in hand and John paid the price for standing up for truth. In the gospel of Matthew, Matthew often refers his readers to references in the Hebrew Scriptures to help them to make link between the “Old” and the “New” Testaments. During Advent, he identifies John with the “voice crying in the wilderness” foretold in the Book of Isaiah. Despite his strange appearance or maybe even because of it, the crowds are drawn to see him and are convinced by his preaching. Many choose to be baptized. Others are attracted too. We are wrong to suppose that all the Pharisees and Sadducees were hostile to the preaching of John and later of Jesus. Many were hostile but some were curious and tried to understand how it related to the scriptures and teaching they had grown up with and loved. John’s challenge to them is to change. Change their way of thinking, change their current attitude, change they way they treat each other, and change the way they behave inside and outside the church. When we reflect on what we want for Christmas, what we really want let us focus on what we need to change about ourselves to receive that gift. How can be the link between to “old” and the “new”? Christ is coming, are you ready for the change?

See ya in church but until then take care of yourself and one another.
Peace,

Tommy

The SKI Generation

I recently became aware of a new phenomenon that is slowing gaining popularity through out our culture. It began with the Baby Boomer generation. The Baby Boomers are those individuals who were born post WWII until 1964. The Baby Boomers overflowed the nurseries in churches throughout the country. These larger families resulted in the largest increase of church attendance in the history of Christianity in America. 1950- 1060’s was unprecedented for church participation, attendance, and giving. Evidence of this is all the churches that built large education buildings, which at the times were desperately needed. As a group, they were the healthiest and wealthiest generation to that time, and amongst the first to grow up genuinely expecting the world to improve with time. One of the unique features of Boomers was that they tended to think of themselves as a special generation, very different from those that had come before. This generation no longer was interested in church life, nor valued the benefits of a faith community. This resulted in a decrease in church participation. The small church movement of the 80’s -90’s targeted the Baby Boomers to attract them back to the church. As the Baby Boomers begin their “senior” years they have been credited of now becoming the SKI generation. SKI is an acronym for Spending our Kids Inheritance. Statics shows that those of the Baby Boom generation would spend the inheritance they received from their parents in less than six month. As the parents of Baby Boomers pass away, after their lifetime of savings would be spent by their children in less than six months. Now the spending trends of this generation as they age are now spending the inheritance of their children also. They are spending it on vacations, cars, homes, land, travel, hobbies and paying down their personal debt. Inheritance spent on a search for happiness?

My intent is not to place blame or beat up on the Baby Boomers. Not all Baby Boomers are the same. But when one looks closer at the Boomers, they wanted the same thing as their parents. Something we all desire. We all want a better life. Deeper for us than the pursuit of money, power and material possession, deeper than our desire for food and our need for self fulfillment, lies the richness we find in contentment with what we have. All that we have and are express the love of God for us in Christ. The things with which we have been blessed, the tools we have been given, draw us into holy living, living in godliness, faith, love and hope.

God has chosen to give us what we need and not what we want. God gave Christ for us and to us. He delights in providing for our every need and for those of our families, friends and neighbors. He makes provisions for the great and small, the rich and all the children of the world.

True living isn't about what we own or the wealth we amass. Paul tells us, in I Timothy 6:6-19, riches are uncertain. True living, though, is about placing our trust in the God who richly provides all things for our enjoyment. Sun and rain, air and water, food and clothes are for all. For us, the good race of the faith is run in pursuit of treasures in heaven. It is there, Paul assures us, that we inherit the life which is the true life. The life we all truly desire. May each of us re-evaluate our spending, as we invest in love, friendships, and influence the lives on the ones we love. That's is a inheritance worth leaving and worth spending. I ponder exactly what inheritance am I leaving for my children. Where are my riches and what I am leaving behind?
Shalom,
Tommy



My Cup is Overflowing

There are brief moments in life that change our perspective and outlook on life. We all share brief moments that just sticks with us forever that changes ones moral compass in life. These are life changing moments that are really insignificant to the rest of the world. It happened to me on Bike Day. It was Bike Day at Abby’s daycare. We were a struggling young, broke family. When I say our family was broke, I mean counting out change to but food broke. We had a dose of reality that children were way more expensive than we figured. Kellie was trying hard to raise two kids, Abby and myself, and times were tough. Our marriage, our relationship with God, our finances, our sanity, everything was stretched passed the limit. Every aspect of life was at the breaking point. To top it off it was Bike Day. I got an old bike that Abby’s grandmother had bought her at a yard sale and we headed off to school. Abby arrived at school with the excitement of a four year old on Bike Day. With this old used, too little, scratched, beat up bike in one hand, and Abby holding on to the other, we head into to the school. We opened up the first door and there in the entry way were lined up beautiful shinny new bikes. Areal bikes, princesses, Disney bikes, all types of shinny new bikes as Abby’s face lit up like the fourth of July. She looked at the others bike and then looked at hers as I sat it down besides the others. She did not say a single word, but I stood there and watched as excitement, awe, enthusiasm all drained from her face. She looked again at the others bikes and then back at hers. She then paused and looked up at me, with those beautiful eyes, and said, “Its ok Daddy, I love you.”


My world with those words came crashing down. No father felt as low as I did at that exact moment. I kissed her bye and left. She be-bopped on in and joined her class. Instead of driving to work I drove to Target. I sat in my truck, tears rolling down my face waiting for the store to open. I was devising my plan on how I could steal my baby girl a bike. That transformation on her face was etched into my conscious. As I waited for the store to open, I kept looking at the clock, the store was suppose to open at 9:00 it was already ten after and the store was not yet open. As I pondered why the store had not open on time, I recalled her words. Simple words all fathers hear from their toddlers. “It Ok, Daddy, I love you.” She loved me, not a new bike. She loved me despite my ability to get her a material possession that others had. God granted me the serenity to see that I possessed the most precious gift of all. I had a daughter who adored me, who looked to me for protection, guidance, understanding, love, self image, and security. She looked to me for how to navigate in the world.I was her hero and I was about to steal her a bike? She didn’t need a new bike, she needed a new father. Call it a mystery, call it God’s intervention, call it coincidence, but I thank God for whatever reason Target did not open on time that morning. I left a different person. I left with my cup overflowing.

In the familiar song of David, Psalm 23 we are reminded that God anoints our heads with oil. It is a phrase we hear but I am not sure we all know the true depths of its meaning. God told Moses to make special oil and anoint specific things with the oil. The oil was to be used sparingly. When the items were anointed with the oil, they became holy. The ordinary becomes holy. It means they are set apart from the rest. It is called kadosh, in Hebrew by anointing with oil takes something plain and ordinary and makes it Holy. Those who are anointed with oil become an offering to God. This Holy thing becomes an offering to be used by God. God chose in Jesus Christ to anoint us, you and I, make us Holy and to be used to glorify God. Anointing with oil also had another purpose as a healing agent. It was used to remove the dangerous influences on us in our life, those things that are harmful or cause disease. Oil was used for medicinal purposes to heal us. God heals us, sets us apart, and makes our lives Holy.

You anoint my head with oil, my cup overflows. When our cup overflows, the vessels of our lives can not hold all the blessings God has in store for us. It is superabundance. God is able to do more than we can ever ask for or think of. God will accomplish more with us than we could ever imagine. God’s grace, mercy, a life with God will never run out. We have an unlimited supply of God’s blessing only if we desire to drink. The more we drink he more we want, and the closer we get to a right relationship with God. The more right relationship with God, the more we want.

Want does that mean for our life and our church? You may be asking. I thought this was about stewardship. It is. Stewardship begins we realize we are anointed by God, by the blood of our Savior Jesus Christ. We are set apart from others to connect people to the love of Jesus Christ. We a little old ordinary church, a little life, with all our problems, worries and concerns becomes God’s Holy offering. When we acknowledge our anointing, we become like no other church, no other father, mother, grandparent, child, old adult, young adult, Elder, deacon, whatever we are in life. Even with all our flaws, frailties, uncertainties, pain, and anxiety. We realize we can do more than we have ever imagined. We might be at the lowest point in our lives and realize what’s truly important. We may think we are broke but our lives re4ally filled with riches beyond measure. We may begin to live not in the moment but in the longevity of our lives. We may realize what we are to others is more important than our current situation. We may hear the words of one who loves us, say I love you Daddy. We may realize God anoints our head with oil, and yes, our cup is overflowing.
Shalom,
Tommy