Move Towards a Hot Mess

When faced with a hot mess that we have made or watched someone makes a big mess and wanted to walk away. We see a person who is a total hot mess and say “I don’t know where to start” so we just walk away. Maybe right now in your life or sometime in your life you had someone who was a hot mess that you wanted to walk away from. Someone who had made such a big mess of their life that you just wanted to walk the other way. You watched the decisions they were making, their actions, and you just wanted to walk or run away from their hot mess. That little voice inside of you was saying “Don’t ask questions. Don’t get involved.” Alarms inside of you are going off, and it was so messy that you just pretend you didn’t notice anything and you walk away. Jesus addressed this very topic. One day Jesus and some lawyers were having a discussing with about thirty or so others around. When asked Jesus relied to the lawyer what does the scripture say about that? The lawyer correctly quoted the Old Testament scripture of love your neighbor as yourself. Jesus said, “You are exactly correct. Now go do that!” And as Jesus was leaving the lawyer looking for a loop whole said, “Well who exactly is my neighbor?” Jesus did what Jesus does best, rebuttal with a story or parable to make his point. It is one of the most famous parables we all know the Good Samaritan and it was applicable to the lawyer’s questions as well as to us today. The message in this parable is clear. We don’t have to think hard to understand what Jesus meant or the point Jesus was trying to drive home. But the last sentence Jesus gets us. He says, “Now go and do likewise.” That is a directive that is so much easier said than done. We see a need, we see messy people, and we know we should go and do likewise but it’s so hard. It’s hard to figure out who, the where, the when and the how.  We want to help but there is a fine line between helping and enabling. We all know people in our neighborhood, our families, our friends that when the phone rings and we see who is calling before we answer we already know they are only calling because they need something. What is in us that keeps us from answering. What is in us that as soon as we see the name on our phone we dread the conversation? What keeps us from responding like the Samaritan?

I believe there are three things that keep us from helping. First is inconvenience. Stopping and helping or moving towards someone else mess is inconvenient. Don’t we see people’s hot mess at our busiest time? We live in a busy culture. Being busy is not bad per say but we can be too busy. We can get busy and hyper focused on life so we say to ourselves “I don’t have time for you.” The priest and Levite were busy people. It was not like they were off to do something bad. More than likely they were off to the temple or church for a religious meeting. They were not evil bad people; they didn’t have the capacity of time for this man in their schedule. Sometimes we get so busy that we are too busy to follow Jesus. Here is a question to ask yourself if your life is too busy: Are the people who need you an inconvenience? Do you view them as inconvenience or an opportunity? We are too bust when messy people are inconveniences instead of opportunities to serve God, opportunities to love somebody. The second reason we walk on by is because it’s uncomfortable. Crossing over the street and moving towards a mess or messy people is uncomfortable. We love and walk towards comfort. We strive for our comfort zone. Comfort zones are good but not a great place to live. It we only live in our comfort zone, we may feel safe but we will not be happy. We will never achieve the best version of ourselves inside our comfort zone. We achieve the best version of ourselves outside our comfort zone moving towards the mess. God is using that chaos, that uncomfortable circumstance to help us love and grow. If we insist only on comfort boredom will quickly set in. The third thing that keeps us for moving towards a mess is we are no longer in control. We love control. If you move towards someone else mess you give up control. When you moved towards someone else mess you will learn quickly you could not control their anger, you could not control their drug use, you could control their violent outburst, you could control their very bad decision making. You know it gets frustrating. God doesn’t want you to control your messy person. God doesn’t want you to fix them. God wants you to be there, love them, and walk beside them. So if you are thinking your job is to fix the mess, take some pressure off yourself. God wants you loving and being there. People, especially mess people, are not projects. If you are wired like me, you like to embrace a problem and work until you find a solution. We need to let go and say God you got this. It’s not to address peoples messes the way we think they need to be fixed but to show up, be there, and let God do His thing.

Be nice to one another:

Tommy 

BEST Mess

The one thing we all have in common is we have all made a mess.  Some of us have messed up so bad that we feel that it can never be whole again. Maybe in our finances, marriage, relationships, career, school we have made a mess. We might look good on the outside and still functional, but on the inside we are a hot mess. We say to ourselves “I don’t know where to begin. I’m not sure I can do this.” We have all ignored our own conscious, our own advice and the advice of others. At some time in our life, we have ignored our friends and families members when they warned us. We blew through every stop sign of caution there was and we are left with one big hot mess. There are messes we inherit or just happen upon us but there are also hot mess that is 100% our own fault. Hot messes are what can bring us together with others is the same mess that brings God near.  We have all heard the scripture John 3:16 about God so loving the world that he sent his son Jesus. But many of us stop there. Verse 17 is the most important part. It says that God did not come to condemn the world but to save it. Jesus did not come to get into our face and say look what you have done. He didn’t come to say look at the hot mess you made of your marriage, your finances, your relationships, your children, your parents, your family, your career, your friendships, your reputation. God came into our mess to rescue us from our mess. Therefore, if we are behind or responsible for our own mess, then God came to rescue us from ourselves. The gospels are full of stories of this playing out in the most intimate of ways. Remember the day Jesus was in the temple. They brought to him a woman who was committing adultery. Her life was a hot mess. Her adultery had been publicly brought out. Everyone in town if they didn’t know before, they knew now. Jesus stands up to this woman who had made a total mess of her life and said, “Look at me. I don’t condemn you. I am not going to sentence you to what you deserve.” There was also a time a tax collector was hiding in a tree. What the story usually leaves out was this little tax collector would have had body guards with him. His first mistake was working as a tax collector, over charging people; he had become rich off the hard work of others. Jesus walks along, looks up at this mess of a man and says, “Come down to me. I am coming to your house.” In private, Jesus tells this messy man to leave this life of sin and follow me. But Jesus told him you just can’t walk away. You must first go make things right. Payback what you took with interest times two. The guy paid back the interest and even added more than the law allowed.

Here is what Jesus offers these messy people that he offers to us as well. It doesn’t matter how big your mess is and no matter how big of a hole you dug yourself in. Jesus offers himself. Jesus offers himself as a solution. The clearest picture we have of God is Jesus Christ. If we want to know what God thinks, read what Jesus said. If we want to know how God responds, then look who Jesus responded. Jesus said the father and I are one. Want to know what God is like; watch me. Every person Jesus invited to follow him was messy. Jesus said “I am the way and the light. I will show you the way forward and the way out of your mess.”  Any one of us, who has made a mess in our life, if totally honest, will admit they are in a dark place and need a light. They will admit they are in a mess and need a way out. Jesus did not pull away from messy people he invited them closer. He invited them to follow. In reality you cannot pray your way out of a mess that you behaved your way into.  There is no silver bullet, magic words, or perfect prayer. It is not that God is silent. God provides the light and if we follow that light we would avoid the mess. Our mess was avoidable but we stepped into it not by following Jesus but by following something else that was not God. God invites you to follow his son Jesus out of your mess. God will meet you in your mess. God is not offended by your mess. God will not condemn you for your mess. God views your mess as an opportunity to invite him into your life as He will draw you closer.

Be nice to one another:

Tommy